It was dusk…and the wind was blowing. It was later than usual for my after dinner walk in the yard. There was barely a sliver of a moon. The bunnies had already headed for cover under the bushes, and the quail were nowhere to be seen. I jumped at a plastic bag that went flying across the back of the yard. It got hung up in the neighbor’s fence and rattled, making me nervous. I heard a coyote howl in the distance…and a relative answering his call. Spooky stuff for a little coyote hors d’oeuvre like me. I wasn’t able to do my duty the first trip around the yard. There were too many things grabbing my attention. There were leaves blowing, bushes moving, and lizards scurrying about. Same thing with the second trip. Finally, on the third trip, I managed to take care of business. On the way back to the house, I froze dead in my tracks! There it was! The beast! It moved ever so slowly! The thin black snake was right next to my mom’s foot! I pounced on that sucker right behind the head and shook it wildly…determined to kill it on the first strike! I whipped it back and forth, splattering spit from my mouth, its tail hitting me on my back. I dropped it once to get a better hold, put my foot on it and grabbed it again to be sure I had a death grip, and began shaking it again with a full intention to kill the deadly thing! First right, then left. A slow motion video would have shown my entire body throwing the enemy from one side of me to the other, slamming its full length against the sharp pointed rocks. For good measure, I dropped it a second time and bit it right in the midsection. With my front feet on either side of my mouth, I tried to bite the beast in half, but to no avail. I thought it was odd that there was no taste of blood, but when I dropped the snake, it no longer moved. It was over. It was my third “kill”. I was awesome!
When I was sure the beast was dead…I proudly dropped it at moms feet, in true Cairn kill style. Mom shined her flashlight on the “snake” and began to giggle, trying her best to contain herself. Okay, okay…so it was just a piece of irrigation tubing and not the deadly Black Mamba I was sure it was. But I did kill it dead! Once I got in the house I immediately retreated to my bed, totally exhausted. (I really don’t think mom should have giggled.) Harrumph!